RIP Papa D

I find myself thinking about my neighborhood a lot lately. I’ve been making special efforts to hang out with people from home. I’ve been having a lot of dreams about my old house and people I grew up with. Maybe its because it’s summer and everyone’s getting away from college life. Maybe now that college is over, I’m looking at my life as a whole.

Last Saturday my girl Natalia asked me to bartend in Bed-Stuy. It was soooo much fun, just a great, typical backyard house party with a bunch of west indian folk, it really reminded me of home. There’s just a certain level of comfort, one that I hadn’t felt in a long time and that I had almost forgot about, that I had at the party, it reminded me so much of home and my friends’ families that i grew up with. I am Filipino, and college has been great spending so much time with Filipinos, there definitely is an unparalleled level of comfort there too…but I also feel like I grew up so different from most other Filipinos, especially the ones at nyu. I dunno, it’s like hanging with Filipinos is exploring a part of myself i always longed and strove for, i guess we’re all in that boat together, but hanging with the west indian crowd is what i know and and comfortable with. yeah ok, overthinking stuff, but yeah, it was fun. i miss my neighborhood.

Unfortunately, last Thursday I had to go to Mr. Williams’ funeral. Well, of course I didn’t have to go, but I really needed to. It was so strange, there were just so many people I haven’t seen in a long time – I even saw Loyce at the train station! But, what was really amazing was how many people showed up to uncle denis’ funeral – the funeral home couldn’t hold us all. And there were soo many people that I knew that I didn’t know knew Uncle Denis. It was nice to see Tarik and he was really supportive. I mostly spent time with rita and danny and anna and christine, which was great cause they really were like my second family. actually, my family, rita’s and denis’s…we all grew up together, in that little house triangle.

What a shame that it takes an event like that for us all to get together. I can’t believe Darnell is all grown up and even graduated from high school. And Denis III is already running around on his own. wow. but more than anything I, of course, was thikning about Denis Sr. I didn’t know all hte stuff he did – all the youth groups and community orgs he started and everything.

I was just thinking about all of my memories of him…which i haven’t thought about in sooooo long. I thought about that block party in 1990 which was amazing, him and my dad sitting on cardboard in our front yard and eating seaweed and squid salads, taking me to the park to play sports (i never went to that ghetto ass park with anyone else), walking me home that time i wanted to sleep over but got scared, playing running bases, coming to their house before school while my parents went to work, the tree house in their backyard, always singing a random song! haha the song that comes to mind most is Can’t Touch This..that’s how long ago it was…., when my father had open heart surgery and he came over to make sure my mom and i were doing ok and to offer help, buying me ice cream from the ice cream truck because my parents refused to. my parents didn’t understand the connection between children and the ice cream truck, they would just tell me to get ice cream from the freezer but it’s not the same!

But what i kept thinking of most, what always returned to my head, was that he was the one who taught me to tie my shoes. When your kid learns to tie their shoes, it’s a big deal. there’s an episode of bernie mac where wanda teached baby girl to tie her shoes and freaks out because she taught her something that would stay with her for the rest of her life. yeah…i remember it vividly. i had been trying for a long time to tie my shoes and i couldn’t get it and my parents were frustrated with trying to teach me. i remember sitting at the top of our steps waiting for the bus and mr. williams taught me to tie 2 loops in a knot. haha i was soooooo excited. wow. he taught me to tie my shoes. i do miss him. i miss those times and that neighborhood and our family. God bless, uncle d.

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Chimera

You Are a Chimera

You are very outgoing and well connected to many people. Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others. You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others. You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

get it, bitches? expressive, not abrasive! get it straight! hahaha

 

Songs I Think Are Stupid

Chicken Noodle Soup
London Bridge
Sexy Back
Grillz
Miss New Booty
Snap Yo Fingaz

i feel dumber just thinking about them

 

101 Things You Might Know About Me, But Probably Don’t, and Probably Didn’t Want To

1) Recreationally, I read more non-fiction books than fiction.
2) I spend so much time out, I get excited when I don’t have plans and can stay home crocheting and playing video games. Sometimes I’m tempted to decline invitations so I can stay home and do just that.
3) I think “New York State of Mind” by Nas is quite possibly the greatest rap song ever.
4) I consider it a huge victory when I can make my dad laugh.
5) My theory on life is more or less on par with Mill.
6) I am obsessed with chicharon. I plan on eating it every day in the Philippines.
7) I have a thing for dreads. But, they have to be small, neat and on guys.
8) I’m straight, but I would do Shakira.
9) I get excited when there’s a fresh pot of white rice.
10) I love hugging my sister. She’s the perfect level of squishy.
11) I tell myself I don’t want to get married for at least another 10 years, but I find myself thinking about it a lot lately.
12) I had less than 5 Asian friends before college.
13) I’m scared of bees.
14) I want a Latrell throwback.
15) I love live salsa music.
16) To get comfortable before I fall asleep I usually pretend that someone is holding me.
17) If I want to sound smart I’ll use my white voice. I’m to the point where it happens almost automatically.
18) I have no idea how my mother raised a family of four, provided houses for 2 of my uncles and educations for at least 5 of my cousins on a household income less thank 90k. And 90k was only during the few good years.
19) When I was 18 I got an offer to deal in NY for a supplier in Philly, but he got mad that I had a boyfriend and stopped talking to me.
20) My hair used to be twice as thick as it is now, but I started dying it when I was 14 and it’s been getting thinner ever since.
21) When I was 18-19 I got an average of 2 numbers a week. Now that I’m single I wonder what happened to all those guys. Now that I’m older I wonder what happened that I don’t get numbers as often.
22) “When I Fall In Love” by Nat King Cole used to be my favorite love song. But now, I think I’ve already been in love and it ended. So, I wonder if being in love with the one will be bigger and better than this last one, so that it would be like falling in love the first time, forever and completely.
23) Then again, I could see myself never falling in love and never getting married, or only getting married out of convenience, and it wouldn’t really bother me.
24) I’m usually quiet around new people. Sometimes I think it’s because I’m shy and sometimes I think it’s because I just don’t care. It’s always because I want to read the person first.
25) I have more guy friends than girl friends, but I’m closest with the girl friends that I have.
26) I don’t like having sex with the lights off. In fact, I never have, and I intend on keeping it that way. I think if you love someone you want to see them.
27) I love my unlimited MetroCard, and getting one was incredibly liberating. Though, I’m not sure if it made me more or less lazy. More because I now take the subway distances I would otherwise walk, less because I now travel around the city a lot more.
28) I miss walking in stilettos. In High School I wore stilettos every day. Now I feel like they decrease my productivity.
29) Sometimes I wish I could just wear a beater and a fitted every day.
30) I think my legs are ugly unless I’m wearing 5 inch heels.
31) I seriously considered going to conservatory instead of college.
32) I think whether or not it’s counted, and whether or not I like either or neither candidate, the fact that people have died to obtain the right to vote is enough reason for me to go to the polls every year.
33) I believe the police never looked for Big and Tupac’s murderers, and that they have no intention of doing so.
34) I think information on careers in finance is purposely kept in certain communities. I never heard of investment banking until college.
35) It really pisses me off when people use religion/charity to extort money. Hustle if you want, but don’t hustle by taking advantage of people’s goodness.
36) Lazy and fake are the two worst things I could ever be.
37) If I start a fight, I’ll finish it, even if I know it means getting my ass kicked.
38) I’m going to live in Madrid some day.
39) Sometimes I wonder how long it would take people to start looking for me if I disappeared.
40) I refuse to date anyone younger than me.
41) My thoughts on Ashanti, Ashlee Simpson and Britney Spears: They can’t sing, they can’t dance and they’re not pretty. I don’t know why they’re famous and it bothers me that they are.
42) I get jealous over people and situations that shouldn’t matter.
43) I don’t have a preference for black guys, I just have a preference for smooth game.
44) I’ve actually hooked up with more white boys than any other race. (yeah, I know that surprises ya’ll)
45) It’s been a really long time since I’ve hung out with white people. It just doesn’t really happen, and when it does I feel really awkward.
46) I became a nerd because of Widener Library at Harvard. I was 17 and the first time I went there it was just so vast and overwhelming. I realized how much knowledge there is to be gained in the world, and although I could never know it all, I could try.
47) I have a scar on my left eyelid that I’m somewhat self-conscious about. I was 4 and rolling around on my parents’ bed really fast for fun. I fell off and hit my eye on the handle of my parents’ dresser. I got stitches. I remember being wheeled into the hospital and an incredibly bright light – like that scene in Metal Gear Solid when Snake is trapped in the infirmary.
48) Metal Gear Solid is probably my favorite video game. I’ve beaten it at least 10 times. I’ve beaten it in under an hour. But I refuse to play it without the radar.
49) When I learned about Caetano Veloso and Gilberto Gil being taken seriously as artists and intellectuals, it made me think my future might be possible.
50) I’m searching for the one that got away.
51) When I really don’t like people (I mean really don’t like, not just ambivalent) I am pure evil. I can make anyone’s life hell with just a look and a word.
52) crunchy cheetos are soo much better than puffed.
53) I actually prefer chunky peanut butter.
54) Sugar sandwiches (and their cousin, Prima Toast) are amazing.
55) When I was little, my dad used to tell me that since he had no sons, I had to be his son, so he taught me to fight and build stuff and called me “good boy.”
56) When I was little my mother worked days and my father worked nights, so he would sleep in the daytime. They usually forgot to leave food out or left it in a really high cabinet that I couldn’t reach, so the only thing I had to eat was butter.
57) The first song I ever learned was “More Than Words” by Extreme.
58) When I was in 8th grade I choreographed and performed a routine to “The Right Stuff” by New Kids on the Block with 4 of my friends. We were nostalgic for when we were 5.
59) I wrote my first song when I was 5. It was called “Clean it Up.” It was about the environment and was based on a 3-chord progression.
60) I won the school spelling bee when I was in 5th grade and went on to the county bee, where I lost. Now I suck at spelling because of MS Word.
61) I can’t whistle.
62) One of the best things I’ve ever taught my sister: when you ask her “what are you looking at?” she says “looking at you!”
63) I have no idea where my Spanish accent comes from. I always thought it was Puerto Rican or Dominican, because that who I’ve learned the most from, but people tell me it’s not.
64) I think sex on the beach is gross. I mean, it seems romantic and all, but there are some places where you don’t want sand to go. Maybe it would be ok if you had a ginormous blanket.
65) I will play flip cup and pusoy anytime, anywhere.
66) I have no desire to be famous. I like being anonymous.
67) But, I have an intense desire to be reknown. I want people to know my name and my work, just maybe not my face.
68) I think drama outside of the theater is stupid.
69) I don’t really like sleeping alone.
70) I’ve been wearing hoop earrings since I was 5. I rarely wear other kinds.
71) I have 3 piercings in each ear. I got the 3rd in 7th or 8th grade.
72) I think beer and chicken wings are the best food combination ever. They make me so happy.
73) I want to be that chick that hustles at pool and poker.
74) 3 greatest sports: basketball, boxing and billiards (ok, billiards isn’t really a sport, but they show it on espn)
75) I rarely pursue revenge. I just stop acknowledging one’s existence. Why stress myself over some bitch?
76) I kinda want a blasian baby.
77) I had cornrows in high school.
78) The first play I ever did was in 4th grade. I was a petunia in Alice in Wonderland.
79) The best venue I’ve performed at was Eastman Theatre in Rochester. After I performed, my uncle told me he always dreamed of singing on that stage but never did, but was proud that I got to sing there.
78) I sang tenor in middle school.
79) I can play about 5 songs on the guitar (not including your basic 3- and 4-chord pop progressions).
80) My last boyfriend is probably the best-looking guy I’ve ever seen. Being with him taught me there are more important factors than looks.
81) I’m scarred by being the lightest Filipino ever. When I meet new Filipinos I’m always self-conscious that they think of me as Chinese or something. I wish I was dark all the time.
82) I really want to speak Ilongo and Kiniray-a. I’m kind of bitter at my parents for raising me with English only.
83) I wish I had started dance and instruments when I was little. I think if I started then I might be pretty good at them now.
84) I used to keep a book of rhymes and write at least 1 song a day.
85) I was heavily addicted to writing and performance when I was younger, but since dealing with a lot of my issues I find that I need them less. Now it’s much more about fun and developing a skill than the need.
86) But then again, it’s been a while since I had that extreme adrenaline rush before a big show. Sometimes I’m afraid that I’ll never find a venue big or important enough to give me that nervous excitement again.
87) I need to play the following roles before I die: Carmen in Carmen, Anita in West Side Story (I’d have to learn to dance first, though), Mimi in Rent, Rose in Gypsy, Velma in Chicago, Kim in Miss Saigon
88) I am an aspiring beer expert.
89) I love coffee. I am an addict.
90) I’ve always thought cigarettes were gross, but there was a point when started smoking almost every time I partied. If I was drinking and saw someone smoking, I wanted to smoke too. It nearly became a habit, until one night I got really drunk and smoked something like 5 cigarettes in 2 hours. Since then I am completely repulsed by cigarettes.
91) I haven’t had a real crush on someone since middle school – except for a brief, 2 week period in April of this year where I lost my mind. The insanity dissipated just as quickly as it came and it still doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t think it ever will.
92) I’m scared of the police.
93) I’m semi-lactose intolerant.
94) I’m borderline anemic.
95) I love Maxwell. Listening to Urban Hang Suite got me through some really tough times. Macquin gave me that tape (that’s right TAPE not CD! That’s how old my love for him goes)
96) A lot of shirts/dresses don’t fit me in the boobs, which makes no sense because my boobs are literally the most average size, which can only mean that a lot of manufacturers are giving preference to small-boobied people. How’s that for logic?
97) Fronts are so ugly. They’re probably the only physical alteration that would make me stop talking to a good friend.
98) Speaking of which, “Grillz” is such a horrible song. Listening to it makes me depressed for the future of humanity. I mean, c’mon now. “Smile for me daddy.” “What you looking at?” “Let me see your grill.” “Let me see my what?” “Your, your grill. Your, your, your grill. Your, your grill. Your, your, your grill.” If that’s not literary genius, I don’t know what is.
99) I think my favorite literary genre is 20th century Latin American fiction.
100) I think New Jersey is unnecessary.
101) I speak with an accent that’s part New York, part FOB.

 

It’s Been a While, I Shouldn’ta Left You

So yeah, been a while since the last update. My apologies, I know all of you procrastinators/bored at 3 am and reading random shit people have been left hanging.

So what has been going on since hte last update ::gasp:: over a month ago? Well hmmm, turned 21 (3 times lol), got back in touch with some people i seriously had missed, went down south to visit the parents and sister. South was fun. it was soooooo nice to drive. i was nervous at first, it had been about a year since the last time, but yeah i still got it. I’m such a good driver! wow! btw, people down south can’t drive for shit. when they change lanes or turn onto the road from a parking lot or something they go craaazy fast, squeeze their SUV’s and pickups into tight spaces and don’t signal. then, when a light turns from red to green it takes them forever to go! fucking backwards people. took my sister to the park and hte beach, got some color. hung out with white folks. all in all a good time.

and yeah, my mom thinks she’s slick. so the first couple days i was down there she has no work, so we chill, its all good. when she goes backt o work, she takes the car and doesn’t tell my dad to unhook the truck, so i’m stranded. she says “i didn’t know.” mmm yeah ok whatever. we fight blah blah parental drama you know how it is. the second day my dad wakes me up double checking with me if he should unhook the truck or not. it seems my mother once again took the car and this time specifically told my father to leave the truck hooked. we call to ask her about it and she says “i didn’t know you wanted to go out.” i say “what the hell am i a prisoner here??” thank God for my dad’s distrust of my mother lol. so yeah, everything was good from then on. whenever i go there it’s not really a vacation, it’s more of a vacation for my parents because i cook and clean and do laundry and mind my sister and keep house. i cooked massive amounts of food because hte last weekend we had some white folks over at the house. “yessm, yessuh” i keed i keed, they were cool. but i then spent my last couple hours nursing my father’s hangover. siiiigh some things never change.

so then my 3rd 21st birthday celebration, which was aiet i guess. a LOT of people who said they were going to show up didn’t show, which is ok for some people (those who explained to me before or after), but for the rest of y’all, i dedicate a big Fuck You. i don’t as you to come, just that you’re straight. eh it’s ok. i’m learning every day who the real friends are.

speaking of which, even after all of this foolishness i’m continuing to hear things about myself, things i’ve supposedly said or done which i am completely certain i never said or did. siiiiiigh. i guess this is what i get for hanging out with filipinos? 3 years of nothing and now college is over and i’m hearing shit, grrrrreat. great way to end shit. oh well, like my man TI say, you be hatin and i see why, cause you don’t know me.

which brings us to July 4th weekend. it was great. not because i did anything particularly great, but because it was all so unplanned and spontaneous. random party sat night in rockland (my first trip to the rock EVER!!!), began with a 3 hour trip to jersey and led to a 2 night stay int he rock. back to the L-I to visit, which became a day of randomly driving around and eventually overnighting it. ahhhhh i love it. At the risk of sounding cheesy (but who cares cause i’m for real here), every night this weekend when i’ve prayed at bedtime, mos tof what i could think of was thanking God for good friends. my son Ben, my shorty Cheryl, my brother/kid’s godfather Nicholas…all going out of their way to show yours truly a good time. Even Shan coming through and making me feel loved!

So here we are. there smuch mroe to tell but it’s finally 6 pm and i’m getting the fuck outta this office!!

here’s to working hard and playing hard my first summer as a free woman.

 

Cleaning Up My Facebook

so i’ve decided to clean up my facebook profile, but i don’t wanna lose shit, so i’m transferring shit here.

“Are you serious? Do you know who I am?” ~Dzzom PCN 2k4 (where is that guy?!)

“Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?”

CeciDaSupastar (11:04:58 PM): yay were modeling
jOeYd1zZlE (11:05:00 PM): YAY
CeciDaSupastar (11:05:10 PM): i should wear a sheila mask
jOeYd1zZlE (11:05:26 PM): ummm
jOeYd1zZlE (11:05:27 PM): if u want?
jOeYd1zZlE (11:05:31 PM): do i have to wear one?
CeciDaSupastar (11:05:38 PM): a sheila mask?
jOeYd1zZlE (11:05:45 PM): iono
jOeYd1zZlE (11:05:59 PM): i’ll look weird if u wear something and i dont
CeciDaSupastar (11:06:03 PM): no
jOeYd1zZlE (11:06:06 PM): erm k
jOeYd1zZlE (11:06:16 PM): whatever u think is more cultured
CeciDaSupastar (11:06:24 PM): hahaha
jOeYd1zZlE (11:06:32 PM): ohh i just got that
jOeYd1zZlE (11:06:33 PM): hahaha
jOeYd1zZlE (11:06:35 PM): sheila mask
jOeYd1zZlE (11:06:41 PM): i thought a sheila mask was something cultured
jOeYd1zZlE (11:06:41 PM): haha
CeciDaSupastar (11:06:44 PM): LOL

Never resist the unfamiliar…but I’ve already done a Jamaican dude

M and M = marry me

Ciiiiigarettes

Chilllll Winstonnnnnnnn

Do you remember me?Yeah, parasailing guy.

There’s not a single termite in there, you know why?Cause they’re all married.

Cecilia, I heard you were dark. [I turn Around] WHOA!!!!~Joann

“Oh My God, You’re BLACK” -etan

YES if you saw someone backing it up in headlights in a reststop in south jersey at 2 am, it was my ass

A strange man has never tried to grab/grope me on the street or subway at 3 am when i’m coming home drunk – it always happens in the morning when i’m on my way to work (why? no idea)

I LOVE FLIP CUP. FLIP CUP KICKS BEER PONG’S ASS. FLIP CUP SMACKS BEER PONG LIKE A PIMP SMACKS A HO. IF FLIP CUP AND BEER PONG GOT INTO A BAR FIGHT BEER PONG WOULD LEAVE THE BAR BLOODIED AND LIMPING.

Marc…yeah I’d hit that, even if he is missing a tooth

I miss Kenny!! (does he have a younger brother?)

So what did we do in Jamaica? Ummm we spent a good amount of time watching white people dance and laughing.

I Am X-Treeeme Cliff Jumping!!!

They only want me for my green card

Sasha talked to me
Elephant Man sang to me…twice!

 

People In IFA That I’ve Slept With

In alphabetical order:

5Mac
Ben
Billy
Bori
Cheryl
Em
Francis
Ingrid
JJ
Marco
Mykie
Shan
Sicat
Vadicel

Yes, I know I have embarrassing sleeping habits :(.
And these people know all about them.

updated 8/9/06..and the list keeps growing. how many more can i add before i leave??

 

Good Times.

So on Monday i wrote this loooong ass entry about how great my day was…and then my firefox has to shut down before i could save it. so yeah. that sucked. Buuuut here are the highlights:

All the unergrad interns were in at work, making work soooo fun! It’s gonna be a great summer.

I hadn’t yet received grades for 2 classes, which made me nervous because I had submitted my final papers via email and never got a receipt acknowledgement. So, I emailed the profs, and this is what they emailed me back:

Dear Cecilia,
The grades were delivered to the registrar on Friday, which was thedeadline for courses with final exams scheduled for 9 May. The gradesheets are machine readable, so they should be almost instantlyrecorded. Maybe only later today.

Your paper is terrific and it is beautifully written and argued. I hope you do more writing.

Wooooooo! This was the class that I HATED, and that I was nevous for because I basically wrote my paper like a free association. More importantly, this was the final paper I did in college, the 20-something pager that you all cheered me through. Muah! love you! couldn’t have done it without you! Btw..got an A in the class. YEAH! Next:

Cecilia: The grades were submitted on Friday and, your work was outstanding, especially your research paper. You received a grade of A for this course. I am glad you wrote, since I would like to arrange a time to meet and talk with you sometime this summer about various research projects.

YEAHHH! This one means a lot to me because, well, this is the class where all the kids laughed at me. Remember, the one where I announced that I did a paper on Busta Rhymes and kids thought it was funny. Yes, I was vindicated by the guy from the Post, but, well you know how it is, the class was full of those self-righteous rich white kids who laugh at us. You know the little subtle things that they do…for example, scoff when a book criticized Robert Moses for destroying minority-occupied affordable housing, laugh when the prof said NY was an exporter of culture cause the hottest thing in Japan is to dress like black urban youth. Anyway, yeah, so I kind of receded in the class…and I wrote the Prof a letter about it too because he always believed in and supported my point of view, and believed it would be good for the class to hear. All my life I’ve been used to standing up for myself, playing the token role in hopes of educating someone. But, i dunno, there was just so much going on this semester, I didn’t have the energy or will to play the token, which is unfortunate and i suppose selfish of me. Maybe if i could go back i would do it different. But whatever, no matter. What matters is that this guys is DAMN IMPORTANT guy in city government, extremely well known and regarded, AND HE THINKS I’M SMART!!! I’m trying not to hope too much from this research offer…but it would be cool. Soooo frikkin cool. If it’s really good it might make me question the balikbayan..errr we shall see.

So excited. wow, i’m a nerd.

And then, I go to VS and get 2 free panties. Woo hoo! On the train ride home I’m reading the Noli and some guy sits next to me. After a lil while he holds up his phone and it says “no disrespect. you’re stunning. truly.” awww! I’m so stunned, I just giggle andsay thank you. i can’t even look him in the face. After a little bit he says “excuse me, what nationality are you?” i answer. “oh. ok. (sees my book) oh, sorry to disturb you.” The whole time he’s sitting there I’m doing my best to stay cool. When he leaves he says “take care” and then the doofy smile comes out. haha. It is just sooo refreshing…a man to give you a compliment for the sake of giving you a compliment. No grease, no alterior motive, not even really trying to holler. Why is it that respectful guys only step on days when i think i look like crap? maybe i’m less on the defense…But yeah. I mean, not to be gassed, but I think i’m pretty. but sometimes you forget, sometimes you become unsure and you need someone to remind you/confirm for you/let you know that other people think you’re pretty too and that you’re not just fooling yourself. so yeah biiiig smile :D. And then, the very next morning some random woman in the elevator said i was beautiful and my receptionist said i looked pretty too! hehe gas me up! so i’m feeling extra girly and pretty this week. yay!

 

Recovery

ok so this was my day yesterday, which actually started Friday night:

Friday night I go home, all excited to finally sleep in my own bed after basically living in palladium since wednesday. I shower, start to clean, relax a bit. Then Basilio’s all calling me

“come to palladium to hang out, even if you’re not going to the party”
“I’ve been living there since wednesday”
“But I haven’t been there so that doesn’t count. Plus we probably won’t stay at the party that long, you know we’ll be back for some Robin Raj” (btw, I was the one who introduced Bas to the Robin Raj sausage egg and cheese. just so everyone knows.)
“Aiiiet, if you really want me to come through. You’re lucky I love u so much”

Then I get a call from the producer of FWN’s Vagina Monologues. I had contacted them a few weeks back saying I was interested in auditioning, but got so busy and basically flaked off and never followed through. I explained to her that my life had been so hectic, I wasn’t prepared, I didn’t even have a headshot. She was sooo nice, she said it was ok, I could submit my headshot later, I could just come in and cold read. So I agreed. Back to palladium for me.

Go to the Third North computer lab to print up the scripts. Get to Palladium, Basilio is running late and probably can’t make it haha. Its ok, I love the people there. Especially John (who I think is now officially my favorite drunk person), who I really need to hang out with more. They leave for the party, I stay up till 2 working on my professional resume and preparing some monologues. They don’t get into finelle’s party, so call me out to go to some other party. I can’t because the audition’s EEEAAARRRLLLLYYYY in the frikkin morn. But they come back around 3:30 and i tell them to come say hi and talk. and so i wake back up and we chill and then i go back to sleep.

So yeah, in a more coherent manner:

Saturday 2:00 AM – Sleep in Palladium

Saturday 3:30 Am – Basilio and Bori come back from Lotus, I wake up and say hi for a bit. Then go back to sleep.

Saturday 7:30 AM – wake up after maybe 4 hours of sleep. Continue to prep.

Saturday 9:15 AM – Audition at 26th street, between 6th and 7th aves. It was fun, very relaxed, although I was tired as hell. I didn’t do as well as i could have, of course, yeah, not really performance worthy. But hey, it’s an audition, not a performance, right? What was really cool was that there were some basically pro people there, at least people with a helluva lot more experience than me, and I felt like I held my own. Awesome.

Saturday 11:45 AM – leave the audition and hop the r train

Saturday 12:30 PM – teach in Brooklyn.

Saturday 1:30 PM – Eventhough class is a block away from my apt, I don’t even stop home. I go straight back on the manhattan-bound r to head to Jersey City. I’m planning on getting out at Rector and walking to the WTC PATH, but either shit is under construction or I just miss it. I end up getting off at 8th street and walking to the 9th street PATH.

Saturday 2:00 PM – Arrive in Jersey City. Basilio and Emily come to the station to pick me up and we go to the restaurant. Hang out with them and Alfa and Jay. So much fun! Any day where my first meal is chicharon is excellent.

Saturday 5:00 PM – Go to Basilio’s house. Hang out with his Parents and Lizette. Basilio tells his mom that i sing! haha that fucker. so i then spend hours with his mom and dad, bascially sight reading a bunch of songs and them teaching me mga kundiman. Bas’s dad sayis its necessary for me to learn bayan ko. i will.

Saturday 8:00 PM – Me and Basilio head over to Emily’s where I eat a lot more and chill with the fam.

Saturday 8:45 PM – Me, Bas, Charisma, Cy and Eddie head into the city. We drop off heads in Pall first

Saturday 10:00 PM – Get dropped off at Coda while Bas and Eddie head to Vesta. Corey’s band sounds sooooo good, but the audience is kinda empty. I made the merch table all pretty! yay! But no one buys anything. boo. The bouncer hits on me but i’m not really feeling him. This girl comes up to me “Cecilia!” i look at her “um, hi?” “Katie Macchia!” “Oh my GOD!!!” Wow. haven’t seen that girl since elementary school and definitely didn’t recognize her. I’m surprised she remembers me lol. She said i still look the same, haha which i do. it was kinda weird seeing someone after that long…weird but cool.

Saturday 11:45 PM – Leave Coda, walk over to Vesta. Spend the walk talking to Nicholas. Awesome! I love my brother. So glad he had a good time at the 40/40 and playing pool.

Sunday Midnight – Get to Vesta. The bouncers are cool. As I’m standing outside wrapping things up on the phone, Sicat, Alex (who I havent seen in a year) and some dude walk right by the door – it was kinda confusing because there was a bunch of people standing outside which looks like a line, but they’re just smoking. I tell them to come in by where i am. The bouncers tell me to go on inside, but i say i’m trying to be nice and wait for them. One of the bouncers starts joking around telling me to go in or else and ushering me in, so i comply.

Sunday 3:00 AM – Getting ready to leave Vesta. Basilio is so good haha. His friend says I’m not Filipino and Eddie and Basilio go “ooooooo” and I start speaking tagalog. haha that was funny. Billy drives me and Bori home.

Ahhhh weekends rock.

BTW, regarding that other thing, I’m done. Well, actually, I’ve been done for quite a while now, but it was definitely cemented last night. I feel sooooo good! haha soooo freeeeeeeee 😀

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

Ah I’m Old

This whole series of end of the year parties has been somewhat disappointing.

Dragged-out….ahhhh all I want is an amazing party. To, as they say, dance till my lungs collapse. But things somehow or another keep getting ruined!

What the hell happened last night! It must have been what I ate. I had maybe 5 drinks. It wasn’t the usual pattern. Once again it was no blackout, no hangover, no stumbling. Not only that but I can usually control it, but this time. It just came outta nowhere and I couldn’t control it at all.

So this is twice in the past 2 months…as opposed to my previous record of once in 3 years. Why is this happening? Has it just been these particular situations or is my body changing? I usually know my body pretty well…and it’s kinda alarming me that It’s been going against my usual patterns.

Crap. Maybe I’m just getting old?