I wrote this at the airport:

Tuesday Sept 5 2006, 11:46 Pm

So I’m sitting here in the airport waiting fot the plane to board and I can honestly say that this has probably been the longest day of my life. i went to bed last night at 2, woke up this morning at 7:30 because I was too excited to sleep. I’m finally doing it. i’m finally going. I’m finally going to lay my eyes on the otherland, step on the soil my fathers stood on, eat of the same earth where my ancestors lived and died and are interred. Walk above their bones. Ok, that’s emo. But growing up in a place where I have always felt on some level like a foreigner has left me with serious baggage. I am sooooooooooo excited! Thank God, a million thanks to God. It is about time I get away from new York. Lately I’ve noticed myself getting, well mean, and I’m talking about a LOT meaner than Usual. I find myself just not caring about people anymore. Someone says hi in the street, i don’t care. sit and look gross and mean and rude and I don’t care because those peopel wil probably not remember who I am an hour from now. Last week I walked straight past kids selling lemonade on my street. This has to end. But of course, after 17 years of living here, there are things about New York I will miss, many of which I experienced on my last trip in today. I know I will love my city even more when I come back here. In the meantime, I’ll think about today:

1) IFA
2) my subway
3) seeing tourists wander aimlessly around soho and knowing that I am not one of them
4) when all the tourists disappeared from the streets today just ebcause it started raining a little
5) the guy ono Lafayette who told me “ma, you got a juicy butt”
6) hip hop everywhere all day every day
7) the smell of the grime
8) having walk rage when people don’t know how to stand to one side on the escalator
9) dancehall music
10) on that tip, west indians (if my mission is not looking like it will be successful, someone might have to send me a Jamaican)
11) free condoms
12) tall guys who think it’s cute when I can’t reach stuff and help me out
13) Spanish everywhere, and different spansihes
14) wades on my feet
15) the accent. i suppose i could listen to myself speak, but it just wouldn’t be the same