White Husband: We met in grad school through a third friend who is also Filipino. He said it takes years to court a Filipina – only after 1 year can you hold her hand, only after 2 can you get your first kiss. But, the secret shortcut is to sing her a harana. So, I sang her this song and we were married within 3 months.

Filipina Wife: I needed my green card

My Mom: The theme on Iron Chef tonight is natto. What’s natto?
My Dad: North Atlantic Treaty Organization

My dad on New Year’s Eve after drinking 2 bottles of wine, talking endlessly about nothing, being depressed, being needlessly loud, falling alseep, waking up and running to the bathroom where he stayed for 20 minutes:
I feel as if I’m drunk